My Friends Death.. I cant do life without her? :/?

You have explained n your second paragraph that you couldn't have helped her. When someone makes up their mind about something it is virtually impossible to change it. Life will continue to go on and eventually you will lose someone else you are close to because death happens, period. Lily had some deep problems, and unfortunately she didn't seek help for them. She only saw one way out, but YOU don't need to follow in her footsteps because you don't come back once you leave. Life comes with both good and bad in it. You will have bad times in you 20's 30's 40's and although the rest of your life. It dosent mean you should end your life, you should always try to concur your problems, and the sooner you work on that the easier it will be to not let things get to you. Be happy for everyday you aren't involved in a car accident instead of taking your life away. Be grateful of those fun days you spend with your friends at the mall, and the fun memories you make with your family.